Julia DiCaprio Hepburn Has a Big Mouth!
by Orochimaru Mitarashi
Summary: Inspired by 1,001 Arabian Nights. Julia is under house arrest and she pissed off Ed and Spike by spilling some nasty things about them to the media. What is her punishment? To tell stories, which she does anyway. This is an spinoff to MAFMWAFE


I do not own Cowboy Bebop and my name is not Nabeshin

Hey! Welcome to the 101 Spike and Edward Tales of Love! It's a bunch of one shots featuring Spike and that redheaded crewmember of his, yes, Edward, just older. It has a weird beginning. Enjoy!

**101 Spike and Edward Tales of Love**

**By Kate Spiegel**

Somewhere on Mars, a twentysomething year old woman is walking down the street. She had just saw a movie and was exiting the theater. It was a perfect day, no one was bothering her, until she heard that voice and then saw something tall and lanky coming at her.

"There you are! Come with me lady and I won't hurt you, the wife will, but I won't!" Said a green haired man with weird colored eyes.

The redhead turned around and gasped at this toothpick of a man. "Wait a minute! I haven't done anything! Oh wait is this about that book I wrote?"

The man just smirked; "Yes, it is!!" The guy pistol whipped the woman and carried her over his shoulder back to the Bebop.

Maria awoke on a bed in a small room, she knew that she wasn't alone. She looked and saw the green haired man sitting beside her bed in a leather chair. "So, you're finally up. Welcome to the Bebop." The guy handed her a cup of Rocket Noodles, shrimp flavored. "Eat up and don't complain, this is all we have have right now, Jet and Hepburn forgot to go food shopping."

"I love ramen, it's fine really!" Maria opened the ramen and picked up her chopsticks. "Do you have anything in tomato?"

The guy shook his head; "Nope, those are reserved for my bride-to-be and she will pissed at me if I gave them away."

"Oh, hey so where's the rest of the gang?" She asked with a tinge of sadness in her voice.

"Vicious and Julia are out making pigs of themselves at Starbucks or they're doing something with music, I lose track of them! I hardly see them anymore! Faye is out shopping with Electra, Jade, Morgana, and Diana are at school, Jet is out to dinner with his woman, and guess who I am engaged to? Huh? You want me to jump over a couch because I am insanely in love with her, let me bring her out for you. Oh I can't, she's doing something in the bathroom, but look she gave me this!" He took out a jade necklace and showed it to her.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You're going to marry Edward, I know that too! I'm an author, not to mention an advid reader of entertainment magazines, you and Ed are bigger than Tom and Katie or Brad and Angelina!"

Spike Spiegel was no idiot, he wasn't an Einstein either, but he knew what Maria was talking about. "I have heard of them and yes, we'll be bigger than those couples!"

"So this is about the book?" She ate some of her ramen, it was still hot and it wasn't that bad.

Spike put the necklace back around his neck. "Yes! So as your punishment Ed and I want an audience with you. You are to tell us 101 Spike and Edward Tales of Love or else!"

"Hey!" Maria snapped. "Now what do you mean by or else? It sounds like one of your empty threats that your friend Julia always talks about."

"It is not an empty threat and Julia is not my friend, we hate each other! Vicious and I, are friends, good friends and don't you forget about it! So listen, if you do not tell these stories! You'll be forced to marry DiCaprio and I don't mean Julia!" It sounded like a threat and not a promise.

Maria crossed her arms; "Do I look like Sheherazade to you? Fine, bring on DiCaprio, I don't care!"

"Oh too bad and we wanted to hear some good ones too. There's not too many about us out there you know." Spike grinned evily; "Besides, you'll make Edward very unhappy and you won't like it when she's unhappy. She'll crawl all over you and bite your earlobe, oh wait, nevermind."

Maria sighed; "Oh all right! I'll tell those stories, sheesh!"

Later on, Maria was brought into the Bebop living quarters, she sat in the yellow chair across from the yellow couch where Spike and Ed sat. They had their arms crossed and were very close together. "Well, let's have it! The first story if you please?" Ed asked.

There was a pitcher of water and three glasses, not to mention a big book. Maria took the book in her hands an opened up to the first page. "Oh very well, the first story is The Young Prince and The Pretty Woman. I hope you two like it."

Spike and Ed looked at each other, then at the girl. "Oh we hope so!"

:I have a lot under my belt, One-shots and my big fic that I am trying to resurrect. I'm so busy. Stay tuned for The Young Prince and The Pretty Woman, a fic where Spike becomes a child and Edward grows up.:


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